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Criminal Pro-Tip #4

junk food/career?When choosing a business to break into, pay careful attention to the type of business you choose to target.  The “spy store” you choose is most likely going to have better cameras wired in the place than the CIA has.


Criminal Pro-Tip #3

Poster, "Hold on to Your Social Security ...

When attempting an armed robbery, one must remember two things:

  1.  1. Do NOT get your ass kicked by the clerk and wind up in the ICU because of it.

2. Do not leave your wallet, including ID, social security card, and credit cards at the business.

These are the people that keep us in business, folks!

Criminal Pro-Tip #2

Image courtesy of Flickr user JeffMcNeill

If you’re going to steal tens of thousands of dollars from the charitable organization you are the treasurer of, don’t use the ATM card for the corporate account (THE ONLY ONE, WHICH YOU ARE THE SOLE POSSESSOR OF) to take money out of the ATM on-site.


Let me preface this rant by saying that I spent two weeks of HELL gathering things to get into EMT school.  CPR cards, school transcripts, certifications, blood types, etc. etc. etc…  The LAST week of school I scrambled AGAIN gathering CPR cards, school transcripts, etc. etc. etc. that they had LOST.  School ended 3 weeks ago, and I was told that “everything is set.  All your paperwork is in order and we should have it to the state in less than 3 days.”


Yesterday I get an email from the clinical director with a list of names of CPR cards they DON’T HAVE and need copies of.   Keep in mind I already gave it to them twice.  The same day, I get a letter from the state telling me my application for certification was denied, wait for it, BECAUSE THEY DID NOT HAVE A CPR CARD ON FILE!!

So, I went to the station, made 150 copies of my CPR card, and took them to the EMS Programs office where I went to school.  They didn’t find it funny, but at the time, I wasn’t trying to be funny.  I wanted the damn process OVER with.  Today, I got a wild hair and decided to call the state myself.  All they are missing from my file is my CPR card, and then my application will be approved.  I just emailed them scanned copies of the card and they’ve already approved it.

Lesson:  If you want something done right, do it your damn self!