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Criminal Pro-Tip #5

Vandalism

Image by vrt3 via Flickr

Facebook is not your friend.  Facebook videos are DEFINITELY not your friend.  If you’re going on a felonious vandalism spree, putting video of you and your friends committing said vandalism will not help your case in court.

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Criminal Pro-Tip #4

junk food/career?When choosing a business to break into, pay careful attention to the type of business you choose to target.  The “spy store” you choose is most likely going to have better cameras wired in the place than the CIA has.

Criminal Pro-Tip #3

Poster, "Hold on to Your Social Security ...

When attempting an armed robbery, one must remember two things:

  1.  1. Do NOT get your ass kicked by the clerk and wind up in the ICU because of it.

2. Do not leave your wallet, including ID, social security card, and credit cards at the business.

These are the people that keep us in business, folks!

Criminal Pro-Tip #2

Image courtesy of Flickr user JeffMcNeill

If you’re going to steal tens of thousands of dollars from the charitable organization you are the treasurer of, don’t use the ATM card for the corporate account (THE ONLY ONE, WHICH YOU ARE THE SOLE POSSESSOR OF) to take money out of the ATM on-site.

Criminal Pro-Tip #1

If you’re going to steal a car and then sell it to a scrapyard, don’t use your real name and military ID.